The Downsides of Being a Foreigner

A long, long time ago I wrote a post about all the reasons I LOVE being a foreigner in Korea. The post was basically about the celebrity treatment foreigners sometimes get from acquaintances and complete strangers which ranges includes free food, special privileges, patience, extra doses of kindness, taking photos and more. Although I still enjoy many of these perks and am enjoying my time in Korea I don't think I'd be giving a balanced perspective if I didn't also explain the downsides of being a foreigner in Korea. Also, just like last time many of these things apply more explicitly to me because I fit the stereotypical image of a Westerner.

1. People sometimes treat you like you are dumb- Many times since my Korean is not perfect people will treat me like I am brain-dead in an attempt to help me. Although, they have the best intentions it is often very patronizing and frustrating. For example, many times people will tell me how amazing it is that I can use chopsticks. Others will ask how I manage to take a bus to Chuncheon (45 minutes away) alone. Additionally, many times when I am at a restaurant, clothing shop, coffee shop, etc. if I do not make a choice within the first two minutes the employee will just decide for me, which leads me to number two...

2. People change your order at restaurant- I cannot even count the number of times waiters have just changed my order without telling me out of a belief that foreigners 'don't eat' whatever it is I ordered. Most of the time it is because they believe the food is too spicy for foreigners and instead of trying to ask they just change my order for me. This even extends to people who know me well including my host family and co-teacher. Despite them seeing me eat spicy foods many times (sometimes they have previously seen me eat the food I ordered) they still modify my order without telling me. Again, this stems from them being nice but just turns out to be pretty annoying.

3. People always assume you want to talk to them- When I have the time I really do not mind when Koreans come up to me and ask me questions about myself. It's often very nice and comes from a genuine curiosity about foreigners and a desire to make sure foreigners like Korea. These same conversations can be a tad bothersome though when I don't have free time and am in a rush or when I'm just not in the mood to talk in Korean. Having conversations in Korean can often be very exhausting and draining since I have to think so hard to be able to keep up with the conversation. Nevertheless, these conversations happen all the time and I never feel quite comfortable excusing myself for fear that the Korean will assume all foreigners are rude and standoffish. For some reason, these conversations frequently happen to me at the gym and there have been numerous times when I'll be tapped while on a treadmill and asked to stop so that a person can talk to me. One time an older woman who did not speak English talked to me for 45 minutes at the gym and even made me look at her house. It was very frustrating because I then had to leave the gym to meet a friend for lunch- so basically I went to the gym talked to a strange woman and then left. These conversations also can quickly get uncomfortable if the Korean asks for my phone number as well.

4. People always want you to teach them English- This one is a little tricky to explain. Basically, it is sometimes hard to know if people are being nice to you and trying to be your friend out of a genuine interest in you and your friendship or out of a desire to learn English. Since speaking English is very important in Korean society many, many Koreans want to learn English. Therefore, many Koreans are eager to spend time with foreigners. This can be really nice at times but it can also be difficult to feel as if you are being used. For example, my host father will say things like 'It's very important that you write us letters from America so EunChan can practice his English'. To me, this implies that the most important part of me living with them is an increase in my host brother's English, which isn't really the greatest feeling. Also, many times people will invite me over to their house and then ask if I will talk to their kid for an hour or so to help their English. Some of my Korean peers will also text me telling me they want to be able to do so-and-so in English so will I correct their grammar or will I read something they wrote? Many times these things aren't a big deal but it occasionally makes me feel lonely and isolated to feel like my Korean friends and acquaintances like the fact that I speak English more than they like me.

5. People stare at you and talk about you in front of you- Despite the large number of foreigners in Korea, many Koreans have very little interaction with foreigners. Therefore many times when Koreans see me, especially in more rural areas they stare at me for extended periods of time. This normally doesn't really bother me but it is worth mentioning. People also often comment on my looks and actions in front of me, namely they will watch me eat and comment on the different foods I eat. Again, it doesn't really bother me but is kind of funny. Koreans are also amazed when they are talking about me and I respond. Many Koreans are shocked when Western-looking foreigners can speak any Korean.

6. You have to listen to offensive things- This one is largely a part of being a cultural ambassador and for the most part doesn't so much bother me as make me cringe. Here are some of the outrageous things Koreans have asked me/said to me after they find out I'm American:
"Do you own a gun?"/ "Does your family own a gun?"/ "Do I need to own a gun to visit America?"
"Wow, you are not fat. I thought all Americans are fat."
"Foreigners can't eat vegetables"
"Foreigners only eat meat"
"Americans eat pizza, fried chicken and hamburgers every day."
"Does your hair turn black when you get old" (Some Koreans believe people with blond hair are born with gray hair and it turns black as they age- I have no idea where this comes from but I've gotten it more than once)


That's about all I can think of and I just want to stress that I recognize that almost every one of these annoyances comes out of kindness on the Koreans part.They just happen to also be a bit bothersome and sometimes lead me to wish I could just blend in for a day!