My First Korean Wedding

This past Sunday my Vice-Principal's youngest son got married and Amy and I were fortunate to be able to attend the wedding with our fantastic co-teacher Soo-Jin. Throughout the entire wedding experience I was completely in awe of the numerous differences between Korean and American weddings. Firstly, you do not need to be invited to a Korean wedding. Soo-Jin, our co-teacher, was never invited by our Vice-Principal. Rather, she simply knew the wedding was happening and wanted to attend. Most of the people who were in attendance heard of the wedding in this manner and had never even met the bride or groom (including myself). 

When we first arrived the three of us went to a table and received three envelopes to place our money in. Most guests place 50,000 or 75,000 won in the envelope and then write their name vertically down the backside of the envelope. We then returned the envelope to the men at the table and were handed three green tickets. I had no idea what they were for so I just tucked my ticket somewhere safe before heading to see the bride. The bride sits in a little room next to the entranceway and people are able to enter and look at her in her dress and take pictures. This is very different than in America where no one is supposed to see the bride before the wedding. The bride looked radiant and was unbelievably nice. She let Amy and I take pictures with her and the professional photographer even snapped a few. 

The bride and I

After we took pictures with the bride Soo Jin informed us that we could watch the ceremony if we really wanted to but most Koreans don't. Instead they just go downstairs to eat. I was a little confused by this and thought something was lost in translation but in fact, most wedding guests simply pay the 50,000 won and then go downstairs to the reception, which is just a big meal. Amy and I wanted to see the ceremony so we asked Soo-Jin if she wouldn't mind. She then informed us the ceremony would only be about twenty minutes so she was fine with watching although she thought we were funny for wanting to watch.

The ceremony itself was really interesting and a complete blend of traditional Korean culture and modern customs. The officiator was a former female teacher of the bride and traditionally is a very important role model in either the bride or groom's life. It was unique that the officiator was a female though since most are males. The parents of the bride and groom also wore hanbok, which is traditional Korean clothing and is worn on special occasions. Other guests though, including the brides brother, simply wore jeans, shorts, t-shirts, etc. Another more modern element was the wedding party's entrance. They recreated the Chris Brown 'Forever' wedding entrance that was a YouTube sensation. I had no idea the video had spread internationally! The ceremony also involved singing by the bride's brother and the bride and groom's friends, which is typical of Korean weddings. In many traditional weddings the groom even sings to the bride. At the very end of the ceremony, which did in fact last less than a half an hour, the bride and groom bowed to both sets of parents, which was really moving. It was hard to really get sucked into the ceremony though because there were many people standing in the back talking. It is perfectly acceptable to chat with friends as loudly as you please during the entire ceremony. This was also something I was not expecting. 

Hanbok

The Wedding Hall

After the ceremony some people stayed outside in the main hall to take pictures. It is customary for the bride and groom to take pictures with their friends, family, and parent's co-workers. Soo-Jin did not want to be in the pictures and was wearing shorts so she took us downstairs to eat. It was then that I discovered the green ticket I received earlier was in fact a ticket to eat. We had to hand our ticket to a waiter who then sat the three of us and one of Soo-Jin's friends at a table. The room was full of tables covered in side dishes including fruit, sushi, dok, jellyfish and raw beef. The table also offered beer, soju and soda. Once we sat waiters brought over four bowls of noodles, which is the traditional wedding food. The four of us then ate and talked before leaving to let other people have our seats because a line was forming outside the door to the eating area. I was stunned when I realized that the money I gave to the bride and groom was actually just paying for my meal!

Our side dishes

I am so glad I was able to attend this wedding and experience all of the differences in person. I was also pleased that my Vice- Principal was so happy that Amy and I attended. Even though he doesn't speak English it is very apparent that he really cares about mine and Amy's well-being and wants us to have a wonderful experience at his school. This support makes a tremendous difference on days when the cultural differences and communication difficulties are particularly trying.